To Be a Good Brother
by Red Roses2
Summary: One-shot. Al's musings about his brother's homosexuality. Mangaverse. RoyxEd, LingxEd, one-sided AlxWinry, Overprotective!Al, Self-Conscious!Ed. Lot of fun, trust me. Rated to be safe.


Red Roses2: Hi. I know. I should be working on something that I've already started, but I was inspired by this as I was complaining to my sister that Alphonse Elric is never portrayed as an overprotective little brother in Ed x Some-Male fan fictions (I read Roy x Ed and Ling x Ed). So here is my attempt at sedating myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. That belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. The anime belongs to whoever produced it in Japan and Funimation. My favorite voice of Ed's belongs to my favorite voice actor, Vic Mignogna.

Warnings: Implied yaoi (you knew that was coming if you've seen my other stuff), manga-verse (that's not really a warning, but it's for those of you who have only seen the anime), manga-spoilers, one-shot.

**To Be a Good Brother**

I am perfectly aware that I don't know everything about my brother. Yes, we've lived together since I was born. Yes, we love each other very much and share secrets and thoughts with each other. But I am aware that Brother keeps things from me. As I do from him. I haven't told him I still don't know how sex equals babies. I keep things a secret because I'm afraid of embarrassing myself and because I'm worried he'd laugh at me. It's pitiful, I know – we've been through so much that such petty things shouldn't matter. But I'm still a fourteen-year-old boy. Had I a real body, I would probably have learned all these things by now after being driven insane by curiosity about what is supposed to happen to my body when I hit puberty.

But I didn't expect Brother to be keeping _this_ a secret.

We had just gotten back from our last mission – the things with Cornello and Rose – and Brother was giving a report to Colonel Mustang. For a while, I kept myself entertained by speaking with Sergeant Fuery and 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye. (They keep telling me to just call them Hawkeye and Fuery, but I want to give them the respect they deserve.) After ten minutes or so, I was beginning to worry. Ed had been in there for an awfully long time, and there hadn't been as much yelling as usual. But there were some more "bumps" than expected.

Out of concern for Colonel Mustang's safety, I approached the office door . . . and let myself in.

"Brother, please don't kill – ,"

I never finished that sentence.

I never thought I'd ever see anything as shocking as it. I mean, _now_ with all the crazy things Ed and I have been doing, several things have shocked me more than that, but at the time, it was the most absurd thing to occur to me. I never thought it was possible until I saw it with my own eyes.

"Al, I – I can explain. . . ." Ed said, red in the face. Colonel Mustang just stared at me, eyes showing that he didn't expect anyone – or at least me – to come in. His hands gripped Ed's wrists, pinning him to the desk surface. Brother's voice sounded so . . . so _scared_.

I've become way too accustomed to hearing that scared sound from my brother nowadays. But back then, it was the first time I'd really heard it since we were children.

I stared at them. Mustang stared back. Ed kicked Colonel Mustang in the stomach. Mustang's wide eyes didn't have time for masking his surprise, as he fell to the floor with a _thump_, the desk obscuring him. Ed hopped off the desk; I could practically see smoke coming out of his ears.

"W-what is going on?" I finally managed out.

Colonel Mustang stood up, scratching his head.

"Uh . . . maybe you two should talk this out? Somewhere other than here?" Colonel Mustang suggested, turning his eyes onto Brother. Ed gave him a look – I could only see part of his face, so I'm not sure what kind it was, but I did hear what he said to accompany it.

"You're still a bastard," Brother mumbled, obviously not meaning it and just trying to gain some control over the situation. Colonel Mustang smiled sympathetically. My hand curled up into a fist without me realizing it, and suddenly all I could see was red.

Ed slowly walked away from Colonel Mustang – towards me – and we both left the office together. Falman and Havoc looked like they wanted to say something about the expression on Brother's face, but Ed hurried past them before words could be spoken. We quickly found ourselves in our military quarters, Ed throwing his coat against a chair rather violently.

"Brother, what was that in the office?" I asked.

"What'd it look like?" Ed replied. Had I eyebrows, I'd have furrowed them; Brother's voice often sounded like that when he was trying not to cry. Most people would've mistaken it for anger.

What I said wasn't at all what I planned to say. "It looked like I should turn him in." But it was true. Colonel Mustang is 27. Ed is 15. Colonel Mustang is Ed's superior. He's known as a flirt. For all I knew the colonel was abusing his power to get whatever he wanted. And I'm not going to let anyone hurt my older brother.

Ed turned around so fast, I think I heard his neck crack. "NO!" I let out a gasp.

I haven't seen Brother look like that, not since we tried to bring back Mother.

"I know it's a bad idea, I know we could get in a lot of trouble for it, but please Al, don't tell anyone, please! It's my fault, okay? Just please, please don't tell anyone!"

Brother and I stared at each other, his body trembling.

"Could you at least explain it to me, Ed? I'm confused."

Ed closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, messing up his braid. I should've noticed it then. I should have. But I didn't. Back then – right then – at that exact moment, I should've realized how scared he was. And what the cause of it was.

"Not now, okay?" Ed said.

I bowed my head. "Okay, Brother." I looked up in time to see him put a weak smile on his face.

I was such an idiot.

With all the stuff with Nina, Tucker, and Scar after that, there wasn't a lot of time to talk to him about it again until we visited with Winry. But even then, it was difficult to bring it up again because I didn't want to bring Winry into it. He obviously didn't want to talk about it, not even with me. He tried to avoid it at every turn.

Before we left Central, the Colonel was acting a little strange. Or maybe it only seemed that way to me. I mean, it probably seemed like the everyday Colonel to everyone else, but one would think someone who skives off work would be able to manage to come with his "boyfriend" to get his automail arm fixed. . . . Unless I'm completely wrong about how their relationship worked. Did the Colonel even constitute as being Ed's boyfriend then? No matter. It still seemed strange, seeing that it was Mustang.

We didn't get to talk about it until one night. Winry and Grandma Pinako were still working on the new automail arm. I was sitting on the bedroom floor, leaning against the wall. Ed was asleep on the bed, his hair damp from his shower earlier.

At first, I thought it was Den, Winry's dog, making that pitiful sound. It didn't take long to realize it was Ed. I stood up and made my way over to him.

"Brother?"

His face was contorted, eyebrows furrowed, teeth gritted, lips curled into a pained frown. He whimpered in his sleep as he tossed and turned.

"Brother, wake up!"

"Please don't be mad."

I stopped. I listened – didn't hear, but actually listened – to what Ed was saying.

"Please don't be mad. Please don't be mad."

"No one's mad at you, Ed."

He couldn't hear me – I knew he couldn't hear me. Brother turned onto his other side – the one closest to me – and I could see the tears rolling across the bridge of his nose.

"I can't help it," Ed pleaded. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Ed – ,"

"Please don't be mad, Al."

My brain froze. "W-what?"

"Please don't be mad. I'm sorry. Just please don't leave me."

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "BROTHER!"

Ed's eyes snapped wide open, staring incredulously up at me.

Winry's voice carried into the room. "Al, what's going on?" I looked over to the doorway to find her standing there, Den at her heels.

"N-nothing, Winry. Brother just – just had a nightmare." I managed out. I felt Ed still staring at me with those confused eyes. . . .

Winry frowned at us as she walked closer. "Ed, are you okay? You need anything?"

Ed shook his head, still having that look on his face. It seemed to bother Winry, too.

"I'll go get you a glass of warm milk, okay? That'll help you feel better." She then left us, Den sitting by the bed looking adorable.

Ed smiled sadly at me. "Sorry about that. . . ."

"Why would I leave you?" The smile immediately slipped away. "You're my brother, and I love you. I'll always love you. Just like Mom will always love us, even after what we did. And why would I be mad?" Ed didn't physically do anything, but I could feel him shrinking, pulling away from me. Maybe we do have a psychic connection. Too bad it's not good enough. "Why are you sorry? Sorry for what? Edward, please tell me. I want to help you."

Ed bowed his head. His bangs obscured his face from my vision.

". . . For a lot of things. For – for not protecting you like I should. For getting us into this mess in the first place. . . for – for - . . . ."

I could hear the tears as his voice broke. I placed my hands on his shoulders.

"Brother, I love you. I don't think it's possible for me to love anyone more than I love you. Nothing you could do could ever make me hate you, or leave you, or whatever else you're afraid of. But I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. It's okay. You can trust me. I – I'll even tell you some of my secrets, okay? Will that make it okay, Brother?"

Ed brought a hand up to his face and wiped his eyes. He made a loud sniff before looking back up at me.

"That could help, yeah," he said, a small smile lacing his features. I wish I was capable of smiling back at him, to encourage him.

Winry's footsteps echoed up the stairs, and in almost no time at all, she was back in the room, a glass of warm milk in her hand. She smiled at us.

"Here, Ed."

"Thanks, Winry. Sorry for being so much trouble."

"It's fine. You wouldn't be you if you weren't, and that would make me worried." Winry replied, succeeding in getting a laugh out of Brother. "I'm going to go back to bed, but if either of you need anything, just come get me, okay?"

"Sure thing, Winry," I said.

Winry called Den to follow her, and her footsteps and bedroom door closing informed us we were once again alone.

"I'll start, okay?" I said, getting the subject back to the issue at hand. Ed looked back at me, still smiling but more nervous. He nodded. "The first secret I'll share is . . . I've had a crush on Winry since back when Mom was still alive."

"I knew it!" Ed's smile turned into a grin. "That's great, Al. You two would make a great couple."

I chuckled a little. "Thanks. Your turn."

Brother fidgeted with a strand of his hair.

". . . I'm – I'm ninety percent sure that I'm gay."

"Okay. . . . That means you like guys, right?"

Ed snorted. It was a poor attempt at humor, yes, but it made him loosen up.

"Yeah. That's what it means."

I tried to think of another secret, but then I remembered that he and I were probably playing this by equivalent exchange. In order to get to what was really bothering him, I had to dish out things that really bothered me, but he didn't know about.

"Sometimes I wonder how exactly things will change once I have my body. I mean, I'm fourteen but . . . . I don't know what puberty's like." Ed stared at me blankly. "I wonder how different everything will be."

". . . . Oh. Well, um, it is pretty weird at first. Roy's good with questions like that."

"He's Roy now?"

Ed clapped his hand to his mouth. "It's okay, Ed. Remember?" He lowered his hand, but still looked like he said something terrible.

"Um, right. My turn. . . . . Colonel Mustang – um – and I, er, well, he's just helping me figure things out. . . we're not really – I mean, I don't think – it didn't start out like – I mean - ," Ed kept trying to edit his sentences and backtrack, trying to figure out what he wanted to say.

I decided to make it a little easier for him. "Do you love him?"

Ed looked up at me, eyes wide and cheeks red. Brother is sometimes too cute for his own good. (He reminds me of a kitten sometimes.) He bowed his head, and I waited for a response.

"M-maybe. I – I don't really know . . . how I . . . . He's attractive, yeah, but . . . ." A blush graced his features and a small, _tiny_ smile lingered on his face.

"You don't have to decide yet," I interjected. "My turn?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. . . . I don't get most of the sex jokes 2nd Lieutenant Havoc, 2nd Lieutenant Breda, and Colonel Mustang make."

Ed laughed. "Neither do I!" I joined in the laughter, realizing how good it felt after all the mess that we've been through lately.

"I'm glad we're able to talk about this," Brother said after a while. "I – I was scared that you'd hate me if I told you about it. . . ."

"I could never hate you, Brother. That's just not possible."

The smile on his face was the brightest I've ever seen.

It's a pity I haven't seen it like that in so long.

When we got back to Central and met up with Colonel Mustang, Ed and Mustang had another one-on-one meeting that I chose not to interrupt, but paid much attention to any and all sounds coming from the room. All I could really hear were non-incriminating things (how the trip was, if the automail arm is fully functional again, if Armstrong was too scary or not, etc.), but when Brother came out, his face was red and he looked a little miffed. Mustang's laughter could be heard, and I spotted a red mark on his face with imprints of screws. I took a better look at Ed's arm and sweat dropped.

After that, we focused on decoding Dr. Marcoh's research. It took a long time - and it wasn't what we wished it was - but it was somewhat comforting to know that we were getting closer to our goal, even if we did have to go back to square one due to complications with the Philosopher's Stone. Ed was exhausted afterwards, though. I'm kind of glad he was.

"I'm going to go run some errands, okay Brother?"

"'Kay. Just be careful, all right, Al?"

"I will. See you soon."

I can't really remember what those errands were. I was distracted almost immediately. By Colonel Mustang. And some blonde that was with him. I never did learn her name. I guess it doesn't matter. She kind of looked like a slut. Super-short skirt, low-neck line, huge breasts, long legs, and really long blonde hair . . . tied into a braid. I watched them from across the street. The woman pulled him into an expensive-looking restaurant, and Mustang must've sensed me because he looked right at me as she pulled him in.

I'm happy to say he looked like a deer in headlights. He should've.

I don't remember crossing the street. I barely remember the car horns and near-crashes I almost caused. I don't remember the look on the face of the waiter-person who checked the reservations. I don't remember anything except for finding Mustang, the look on his face when I showed up, and the fact that my fist connected with his jaw.

I'm not a violent person. But no one – NO ONE – hurts my brother.

Mustang struggled to get back onto his feet. "Alphonse, let me explain - !"

"Explain WHAT, you lying, two-timing, ass!"

The cursing must have shocked him into silence. It actually was my first time cursing out loud.

"_No one_ hurts _my_ brother, understand?"

"Except for him, right?"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?!"

Mustang sighed. He dug into his pocket, pulled out his wallet, gave the woman he was with what looked to be five-hundred, muttered an apology, and walked up to me.

"This isn't the place to talk about this. May we . . . ?"

I glared at him, but seeing the swelling red mark on his jaw made me feel better so I followed.

Neither of us stopped walking until we were far from the restaurant. Mustang leaned against a tree and gave me a tired look. His jaw looked like a bee hive attacked him. The joys of having metal fists.

I crossed my arms. "Well?"

Mustang closed his eyes. "Your brother is a very complicated person. More so because he's a kid. He does things that don't make any sense, yet I can't argue against any of it." . . . I didn't like where this was going. "I'm just helping Edward figure himself out. It's not a romantic relationship, though it is a relationship of a somewhat sexual nature. He's a kid who needs practical experience to figure things out. You should know that better than anyone. I'm just a stepping stone, a starting point. I don't mean anything. Do you understand this?"

I thought back to the night Brother was telling me those things about him and Mustang. _"Maybe. . ." With a hint of a blush and an embarrassed smile. . . ._

It suddenly hit me. And Mustang was completely clueless.

I guess I wasn't the only idiot.

If I had a body, I would've cried. Cried for a very long time.

"Roy Mustang, you idiot! Brother loves you and just won't admit it!"

The colonel just stared blankly at me. It didn't matter. I ran. I ran away from him – back home. I can't really remember how long it took or what happened between getting into the building and opening the door to the room we were staying in.

Ed blinked up at me, surprised.

"That was fast - ,"

"You can do better, Brother."

"Huh?"

Suddenly, I found that I couldn't tell him about the girl, or what Mustang thought their relationship was. I couldn't make him more upset than he already was due to Marcoh's research. I couldn't make him cry like the me in the nightmare did. I just couldn't.

"It's – it's just that I don't think he understands you the way a lover is supposed to understand you. I – I think you could find someone who could understand you better. That's all."

Ed smiled at me, a genuine smile.

"That's sweet of you, Al." I'm an idiot. "But I think I'll be fine."

I'm a big, stupid idiot.

But so is Mustang.

When Mustang and Ed had a talk after that, Brother went straight home, closed bathroom door, and started a shower. The running water wasn't enough to drown out the sobs. It took all of my preservation not to go back down to Colonel Mustang's office and rip his testicles off.

After what doesn't seem like a long time later, but probably was, we met Ling Yao while visiting Winry in Rush Valley. I'm embarrassed to say that I picked him off the street like I would a kitten. Ling and Brother didn't really get along at first. But they kind of argued like Mustang and Ed do. Then Ling wanted information about the Philosopher's Stone and his body guards started attacking us. That hadn't put Ling on Brother's good side.

But . . . .

"The girls in this country are all nice and beautiful! What a nice country!" Ling said to Winry when he met her. Winry smiled and blushed a little. Ed bared his teeth, a vein throbbing in his forehead.

"Stop flirting with her!" Ed yelled.

Ling turned his eyes onto Brother. "Of course, there are a fair amount of attractive men in this country." A sly smile lingered on his face as Brother's face turned the color of fresh strawberries.

The smile didn't last after my fist connected with his nose.

Ed just blinked uncomprehendingly and turned to look at me, his eyes showing how confused he was. I sighed.

"Al! What's gotten into you?" Winry scolded.

Ling had the audacity to laugh. Maybe he was just suicidal.

"Looks like you have a body guard of your own, Edward." The sly smile tried to make its way back into the picture. Ling noticed my glaring, and the smile slipped back off. Ed continued to stare at everyone with those eyes that screamed "what's going on?"

I don't understand why Brother gets that look about these things. He realizes he's a very attractive boy, right? Why does he always look surprised when I try to protect him from flirtatious idiots like Mustang and Ling?

Winry seemed to key into my line of thinking, because she changed the subject to the trip to Central.

After that, Ed snapped back to how he normally is – my loud, angry brother. I didn't mind Ling and Ed being friends. Ling just needed to keep his _paws _to _himself_. Which he most certainly _didn't_ do on the train ride.

Winry had made a comment on how Ed was almost sixteen and Ling was fifteen. Ed wanted to measure, and Ling was at least four, five inches taller than Ed. Ed pitched a small fit, which was quickly ended by Ran Fan. Ling laughed as I explained about Brother's sensitivity to his height (which I was glared at for).

"In my country, the shorter a person is, the more attractive he or she is considered to be." Ling explained. Ed looked at him suspiciously. "It's a little ironic, seeing that Xingese are some of the naturally shortest race of people, and yet while we value small stature, the majority prefer Amestrian traits. Like . . . blond hair, or light eye color, big eyes - ,"

I punched him again before he got to continue. Yes, he could've been talking about Winry – had he been looking at her – but I knew he wasn't. Ed turned a cherry-red and muttered something about needing to use the restroom. Ling managed to still have a smirk on his face . . . before I threatened to rip his tongue out and strangle him with it.

Winry stared at me like I suddenly grew fur and started howling at the moon.

Somewhere, in our adventures with Ling by our side, I _know_ Brother fell for him. I can't pinpoint the exact moment, but I know he did. Brother won't admit it. But he fell in love with the traveler from Xing, son of the emperor and seeker for immortality. I – I wouldn't really know, but Ling does have a kind of charm that makes it hard to be angry with him for long. I don't really know when they started being . . . _together_, but I walked in on it – _again_ – and threw Ling across the room. His hands did _not_ belong there! The hicky didn't go away for days. Winry even got to give us both some good advice. (It was the first time I'd ever heard of a condom. Ed was red in the face for a long time after all was explained.)

And then Ling went and became the homunculus known as Greed.

Brother keeps saying that Ling's still in there, somewhere. I don't know if he's right, or if he's deluding himself. I hope he's right. I hope Brother doesn't have to cry over boys anymore. I hope he's finally found someone who loves him.

But I'm still going to beat Ling to a pulp next time I see him. Because Ed's cried over him enough as it is.

Red Roses2: Tell me how I did. It's been a while since I've written fan fiction.


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